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If you're in this boat, keep reading: we've assembled a guide for how to react when your partner doesn't get you anything for Valentine's Day, including what to say to them to salvage the situation and hopefully prevent it from happening again next year. What to Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Get You Anything For Valentine’s Day? We understand that you feel bad, but try the following steps so that the next Valentine’s Day is not a total fail: 1. Lower Your Expectations. We’ve figured that Valentine’s Day means a lot to you, but maybe your partner doesn’t share your enthusiasm. Set Expectations: If Valentine's Day is important to you, let him know clearly and maybe even suggest the kind of gestures you'd appreciate. It doesn't have to be extravagant—sometimes, it's the small, thoughtful acts that mean the most. 3 times a year — before & after Christmas, Valentine's Day, and Mother's Day — women turn to Google to find out why "my husband never buys me gifts." Do remember: there are two good things about Valentine’s Day when your marriage is in trouble: February 15 will arrive, and dark chocolate is good for you! Grab a piece, make your connection, then wait out the day. he doesn't want to get you anything, he's gaslighting you into thinking it's a matter of being able to and it's not. don't tolerate his lack of emotional labor for you, it speaks volumes about how much he respects your wants and desires. Instead of having a pity party, here are seven ways to cope if your husband doesn’t do Valentine’s Day: Have a conversation with your husband about your expectations. If he agrees to recognize If your spouse doesn't celebrate Valentine's Day and has a legitimate reason why—even if you disagree with it—it's time to create realistic expectations. List how your husband shows quiet love in mundane ways, and keep that list close by so that when you’re tempted to complain that he never gets me flowers or he doesn’t take me out on dates, you can remember all the ways he DOES love you. Here are some ideas to get you started. It could be hard to confine to 1 reason why your boyfriend didn’t get you any gift for Valentine’s. Generally, some reasons why this embarrassing and heartbreaking event happened include: he’s just too busy, your gift might still be in transit, or worse, he doesn’t love you anymore. That’s the amazing part about finding your person, you get to decide how you do life together. Maybe you plan your Valentine’s Day festivities weeks in advance and purchase a special outfit for the occasion. If so, I hope you have the most delicious dinner and feel smokin’ in whatever you wear. He responded, “Well nothing on it was the kind of gift I would get for you.” (For the record, I did request and receive heavenly strength to avoid yelling, “There’s no such thing as ‘the kind of gift you would get me’ because you never ever get me gifts!”) I was frustrated. I was mad. I was sad. Finally, I accepted reality: Am I bitter? Is my spouse an ogre? No, and no. Here's why—and here are some ways to cope when your spouse doesn't do Valentine's Day: 1. Find out the why. 5. Worst Case Scenario - He Doesn’t Love You That Much. Lastly, the reason why he “forgot” to get you a Valentine's gift is that he doesn’t love you that much. If he did, he would pay attention to important dates such as Valentine’s and would even pre-order your gift in advance if needed. Tell your husband how you feel and what you want. Give him some ideas and let him know that you feel unloved by his lack of planning. We recently renewed vows and I was the primary planner of that event. And in many situations, your spouse is half-watching to see what you WILL do. So, let’s just agree that doing nothing is a losing strategy. . . unless your spouse said “you had better not do anything for Valentine’s Day.” If your spouse says that, you do have your marching orders. Otherwise, stick with me. If you need Valentine's Day to be a thing for you. You need a different BF. He told you why he doesn't do this, and it is probably true but you have to add in being emotionally lazy. But it is really you wanting him to be something he is not. Expect similar for birthdays and Christmas If your husband is lazy in his marriage or doesn’t buy gifts, you have to explain that gifts mean something to you. A gift is a sign of attention, a sign that someone made an effort for us and that he bought us something because he knows that we need it and that we will be happy for it. He doesn’t do anything special for the other dates and I’ve told him before how I’ve come to hate Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, etc.. and that I don’t celebrate them any more to avoid being disappointed and hurt when he doesn’t put any effort into commemorating those special dates. If your new partner doesn’t want to do something special for Valentine’s Day and you do, this suggests he’s just not that into you, or may signal important information about clashing values. Valentine’s Day, like many holidays, often tap into traditions and messages you’ve internalized since early childhood.
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