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Consider the first Valentine's Day of our marriage. I awoke with a flurry of expectation. I was ready. Ready for my husband to stun me with his love and creativity. As Valentine’s Day approached the first year my now husband and I were dating, I told him I didn’t want flowers. I could tell by his face that he wasn’t sure if this was a trick of sorts, perhaps a test of his romantic potential. “I’m serious. If you’re going to get me anything, get me something I actually want: Swedish Fish,” I said. Valentine's Day isn't to make up for being an absent/crappy partner all yearValentine's Day is to celebrate all you accomplish as a functional couple together. If you switch your mindset a little, these (don't get me wrong, very necessary) revelations about you feeling unloved/unsupported won't happen on Valentine's Daythey'll happen before. My gf and I have been together for 3 1/2 years, we've not done anything for any Valentine's Day. This time it's even a Tuesday, wtf. However, if you think that just because someone doesn't celebrate Valentine's, that they don't make their gf happy Jeez, so American. We do tons of other stuff over the course of the year. As a girlfriend, fiancée, and now wife, I have discovered the wisdom in my man's choice to buck the system and not celebrate Valentine's Day. Sure, there were times when I wished he would have. And there were times (early in our relationship), when I pressured him into doing something special on that one day a year. Valentine’s Day. Those two words often send men into a state of panic and cause women to start gearing up for a fight if they aren’t showered with enough or the “right” gifts. I realize I’m generalizing here, but the hype about Valentine’s Day is part of the reason that my husband and I won’t be celebrating Valentine’s Day. “My husband and I have never celebrated Valentine’s Day. We don’t exchange cards on our anniversary. I can’t remember what he got me for Christmas, neither this year nor any. However, last week when an ice storm hit, he canceled every single one of his meetings to take care of our kids. Most of the time, my husband recognizes me on Valentine’s Day. But that year, I woke up to nothing. Not a card, not a flower, petal not even a piece of candy. I was hurt. Perhaps you don’t even want to celebrate Valentine’s Day at all? You’re not alone. I’ve been in that place, too. Early on in our marriage, my husband revealed a secret about past trauma that he had kept hidden for years. He had survived things as a child that nearly made me vomit when I heard them, yet he never spoke a word! TLDR: How can I feel less resentful that my husband prefers not to celebrate Valentine's Day. My husband and I have been married for a little over a year and have been together for about 5 years. Even though we have our arguments, most days are great and I really appreciate how good of a man he is. My husband doesn't give a fuck about his birthdays, Christmas, Valentine's Day, etc. However , that doesn't mean that your husband can't make these days special for you. You need to have a serious discussion with him. I really like Valentine’s Day and I want to be able to celebrate it but my boyfriend does not. He thinks it’s dumb and someone’s love for someone shouldn’t be summed up into one day. This always leads into fights with us mainly because he won’t compromise to at least say happy Valentine’s Day to each other. Some people truly hate Valentine's Day. it essentially comes down to why you want to celebrate Valentine's Day in the first place. Once you work that out, it eases the pressure somewhat I asked him almost every day if he had planned anything. I had gotten a babysitter for my son then, and was just going to update on time. That’s all. And he never gave me an update because he didn’t plan anything. We were going to celebrate Valentine’s Day tomorrow evening. how about this year. you remind him Valentine's Day is coming up in 3 weeks and then tell him you are giving him a challenge. Tell him, this year, you would like to challenge him on doing something for you on Valentine's Day for $50. tell him you expect something romantic and he isn't allowed to spend more than $50 on it. 27 Minute-to-Win-It Valentine’s Day Games January 10, 2025; 23 Unique Class Valentine’s Gifts for Kids January 10, 2025; 27 Valentine’s Treat Ideas January 6, 2025; 21 Funny Valentine’s Day Card Ideas January 6, 2025; 17 Valentine’s Day Surprise Ideas for Your Husband January 6, 2025 Romance doesn’t always have to be serious; sometimes, laughter is the best way to show you care. From witty one-liners to sarcastic takes on love, these funny Valentine’s Day quotes will add a little humor to your celebrations, whether you’re madly in love, happily single, or somewhere in between. Since our wedding anniversary was not only forgotten again this month, but then also completely intentionally ignored (Jan 16) I decided to buy myself something for my own anniversary gift, and I think I will now also plan my own special Valentine’s day fun (with my five homeschooled children, we will celebrate and enjoy each other and be Dear Alisa, My partner doesn’t celebrate birthdays or anniversaries, he doesn’t feel it’s necessary. I’ve explained to him so many times over the years, that I want to celebrate these things and I want him to celebrate with me because it makes me feel good. Its really just a holiday to make money off of. Because in reality if your married, every day should be "valentines day". Thats what me and my fiance say. We do special things for each other on a daily basis. Anyways, why have Valentines day when people have anniversaries. Thats even more special.
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